sortashrimp™

ahoy! i'm shrimp!
i'm a lil creature residing in the rural midwest. despite being in such close proximity to the epidemic of ranch dressing, i find peace in smoking way too much weed, and criticizing chefs on cooking shows as if i have 3 michelin stars under my belt.

i prefer to go by she/they, but honestly you can refer to me as whatever. i ain't picky!